Dating in the modern world is anything but simple. With apps, shifting values, and digital distractions, it often feels more frustrating than fulfilling. Reddit, one of the internet’s most unfiltered platforms, is full of raw, relatable insights on what people really think about dating today.
In this post, we’ll break down some of the most common complaints from Redditors about the dating scene—and chances are, you’ve experienced a few of these yourself.
1. Casual and Flaky Attitudes
Many daters feel that commitment has taken a back seat to convenience. One Redditor summed it up best:
“People nowadays will throw away a cracked vase rather than gild it.”
Lack of Commitment
Instead of working through bumps in the road, many people are quick to end things when challenges arise. There’s a growing sense that modern dating encourages instant gratification rather than patience and emotional investment.
Flakiness
Another common gripe is flakiness—people canceling last-minute, ghosting, or seeming disinterested from the start.
“People being flaky and uninterested in getting to know people, instead relying on instant ‘checklists’.”
Rather than being curious about someone’s story or personality, many approach dating like a job interview with a checklist. If you don’t check the boxes immediately, you’re out.
2. The Role of Dating Apps and Social Media
Apps have fundamentally changed how we date. While they’ve opened the door to meeting more people, they’ve also contributed to emotional burnout and disconnection.
Swipe Culture and Choice Overload
When you can swipe through hundreds of profiles in minutes, it creates a paradox of choice. People start treating potential partners as replaceable.
Surface-Level Connections
Apps often reduce people to their photos and one-liners. It encourages snap judgments rather than meaningful conversations.
Social Media Comparison
Constantly seeing couples’ curated lives online can cause daters to second-guess their own progress. Instead of focusing on connection, people get caught up in appearances.
3. Emotional Unavailability
Many Redditors mention the emotional walls people carry into dating.
- Fear of vulnerability
- Avoidance of serious topics
- A “play-it-cool” mentality that discourages real intimacy
These attitudes can make it hard to build something lasting.
4. Communication Breakdown
Modern daters often struggle with honest, open communication. Whether it’s ghosting, breadcrumbing, or vague texts that go nowhere, the lack of clarity is draining.
Common complaints:
- “Mixed signals everywhere.”
- “People don’t communicate what they want anymore.”
- “No one wants to be upfront about intentions.”
5. Mismatched Intentions
People enter dating with wildly different goals: hookups, marriage, validation, distraction. But they don’t always express these goals clearly, which leads to confusion and hurt.
One person might be looking for a life partner. The other just wants attention or to fill time. Without honest conversation, someone always ends up feeling misled.
The Therapist’s Take: Why These Complaints Matter
As a marriage and family therapist, I see these patterns show up in sessions all the time. Dating culture affects mental health, emotional resilience, and long-term relationship quality.
“When dating becomes transactional or avoidant, it robs people of the opportunity to connect on a human level.”
To break the cycle:
- Be clear about your own intentions
- Approach others with curiosity, not checklists
- Don’t ghost—communicate, even if it’s uncomfortable
- Take breaks from dating apps to reconnect with yourself
Final Thoughts: It’s Not Hopeless, It’s Human
Yes, dating is harder in the digital age. But it’s not impossible. Most people out there still want connection, safety, and love—they’re just unsure how to get there.
Acknowledging the common pitfalls of modern dating isn’t about being bitter; it’s about being better prepared.
🎙️ Listen to the Podcast: Licensed and Unfiltered
In this episode, we break down the real reasons modern dating feels so hard—and how to find clarity in the chaos.
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.